I want to make a zoo with you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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