WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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