Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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