you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
