The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
