Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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