standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
