You really coming over, don't trick.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
