Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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