My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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