y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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