you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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