Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
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I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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