Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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