Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
