I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
