at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
