There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
