I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
