Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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