I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
