At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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