I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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