So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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