"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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