i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
