My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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