I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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