I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
