yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
how drunk are you?
Several
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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