My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
