just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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