Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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