Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
