He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
