The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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