It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
