I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
