just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
