at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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