she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize