you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
