Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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