Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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