i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am available for nakedness
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
