Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
