Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
