she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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