dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
