he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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