Betty ford says i'm here all night
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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