Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
bring money and cleavage
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
