Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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