69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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