i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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