Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize