I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
