There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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