Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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