its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
