If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
